Out of all the things this world can dish out at me, I think sickness is one of my least favorite. Not that I'm not used to being sick, lately it seems that's all I ever seem to do. So being that I'm quite a pro at it by now there's actually a pretty bad downside to it when I am. First I worry that my girls will get sick too and if they do my worst fear is that how on earth will I be able to care for them if I can't even care for myself?!
Call it super power strength but I always manage to do it. It's as if my own sickness doesn't exist when they become ill as they become my priority and nothing else matters. I don't even know what I have, all I know is that it's consuming all my lungs. And since I don't like to whine about my sicknesses, I tend to never go to the doctor. That's like asking for help and you know how much I don't like doing that. I like it when my body fights and eventually wins no matter what a terrible week I may have.
Now if it's my girls, I don't hesitate to take them to the ER if I have to. It's as if they have so much more value to me than I do. They are precious to me and me well, I can tough it out. Nothing breaks my heart worse than to see one of my girls sick in bed and there's nothing I can do about it. It's terrifying to me and it breaks me to the core.
Now that I have a newborn you can only imagine my fears! I'm doing the best I can and pray to completely heal from this darn sickness that I have. You could not have come into my life at a worse time. Yes, this is me talking to my sickness. Pretty weird.
So until I can finally breathe clearly literally, I will continue to watch over my sick baby girl Camila while I pretend that what I have is only insignificant compared to hers. God grant me the strength to only be able to care for them if they need me because as bad as I feel this actually makes me feel so much better. :)